In this article, we will learn the art of Not getting offended with some magic pills shared below. Read along!
In today’s world people are being offended by each and everything. I bet a few would even be offended by this title too.
Well, it can’t be difficult for some.
But yes, we can improve or let me put it out – how we react to something. Sounds better isn’t?
Yes, so let’s understand it better the concept of the same.
In this 21st century, we are so bombarded with information that we forget to verify the sources and leave alone checking whether the news is true or not.
We are so confused with information from everywhere like Memes on Instagram, Facebook, Stories on WhatsApp, etc. Nothing against them, but do you see the pattern here.
Just finding any news on these platforms multiple times we are automatically inclined to think that yes the news is true and doesn’t need verification.
And yes, this is where news travels so fast without us even realizing that it might be fake.
We are so consumed by the news that we start sharing them. Who cares if it is wrong or right? Yes, you should.
Why does it matter?
Because, this is just the beginning of anything big.
Let me give you an example, of the infamous US presidential elections you might have understood it.
In this age of technology with so much content and people sharing their interests. It becomes so easy to find them and divert their mindset towards something else.
Yes, we have already gone through it and it does affects us in innumerable ways than we cannot even imagine.
Let’s take another example – while watching some movies on a television channel do you notice some advertisements run over and over and it stays in your subconscious mind like for some time.
And when later on you are at a Shop/Market/Convenience Store purchasing an item and see the choice among that product and others. You are most probably inclined to choose it.
This is how we are duped and played on.
We claim to be the smartest people on this planet. And yet, we are nowhere near an intelligent one. As we fall for these cheap marketing tactics.
Do you notice some incidents happening near you and you try and turn a deaf ear sometimes.
Similarly, when a similar instance happens with a bigger personality we are so concerned with the fact that it happened and nothing can be done. And you are out there fighting for justice like it’s the whole purpose of our lives.
What about the fact – when the same thing was happening besides or in front of you when you turned an eye and moved along?
That’s how ignorant we have become.
Coming back to our Crash Course about not getting offended. Here’s the an brief outline of what would be seeing –
First let’s begin with why do you get offended. Next, we would see on not to be offended.
Causes of Being Offended
Anything which annoys or hurts you, it could be sentiments or even you being insulted. You automatically presume that you were being offended personally or as a whole.
Firstly, you would have to understand the writer’s or the author’s perspective.
Is he trying to intimidate in some sort with words, is it an personal attack on someone.
Either way, you should try and remain calm and only react in the best possible manner.
And yes, you reacting is also an reaction to event. Sometimes it’s best to keep calm and not react, you need to understand the gravity of the situation and let it go.
While in the other scenario, you might have to stand against the popular opinion which might be wrong.
Always, stand against the truth, do your research, trust your gut. Don’t simply follow the crowd. That’s where the problem lies.
Ways to Not Get Offended
We would divide these into some very simple steps which would help us in our ultimate goal of not getting offended –
Fortunately, there is a cure and these are the pills for the same. Everyone won’t need them all but find the one you need and bring the change –
Pill #1: Don’t Be Offended By Anything You Can’t Change
This is mostly a self-awareness pill that we need to gulp without some water. Why? The real facts, in this case, is – Are we even helping the community one bit by us taking offense? Still, we mistake our anger as a sign for taking some action.
Assuming that being offended, makes you more empathetic and caring.
We simply try and justify being offended.
During the COVID times, I know I got and still get offended by people not covering their face with a mask, while some still spitting after consuming something chewable or something else. Yes, it’s definitely true about your justification for being offended.
Taking offense without any action does nothing to make this world a peaceful place. It simply raises our blood pressure and makes us feel agitated.
If you are really angry or offended by something you should take some action. Talk to the person, who caused you anger, work it out with him. While if I really wanted to make some change about the spitting in public places. I would have taken a cloth like Munna Bhai in the movie Lage Raho Munna Bhai and cleaned the stains. Or could have taken the high road by making a formal against the person or talk with him right away and ask him to not repeat such things.
But, we don’t – we ignore most of the times and fall prey to resentment. Bringing about no change and causing to cause distress in my life. But, yes we can bring the change. We all should give it a try.
Hold your peace of mind paramount – and give it a try. We would definitely move along forward in someway.
Pill #2: Stop Looking For Things To Be Offended By
It has been said time and again – we find what we look for. And when taking offense, nothing could hold more true.
Most of the times, we are in the search to get offended. We wait for someone to do something so that we could take some offense.
The pace at which we are neglecting being reasonable and taking everything with a pinch of salt. It almost seems like a daily routine. Which we should totally avoid it in all circumstances.
Yes, you can break these habits. Let’s start with being reasonable with our thoughts and actions. And it wouldn’t be about very far – that you would find the calmness and clarity you always craved for.
Instead of trying to be the victim of others’ acts and in search of what someone is “doing to us”, we must start looking for what someone is “doing for us”.
“Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at will change.”
Pill #3: Look for Alternate Meanings and Motivations
Not everyone out there is looking to offend or pick on you. Sometimes, it’s okay to give someone their space. Everyone goes through their lives in different ways on different days.
It’s OK, on a few days to let the other person to get angry on you. You should be accepting and gulp it up and move on.
Do bring it up to him, later on that he was being an a**.
Looking for alternative meanings to someone’s offense doesn’t make you any less and would only enable having your piece of mind for the day.
Let’s say your traveling through public transport looking forward to your day and suddenly you bump into someone and he starts hurling abuses as to can’t you see. In this scenario, you noticed he is worked up returning from a night shift and you say sorry and try to calm him down and get back to your route towards the office.
Here the first person was being considerate and didn’t take offense of the abuses by countering them with more and acted responsibly thereby ensuring he keeps his cool and is composed for his day.
Pill #4: Resist Passing Judgement
There would innumerable cases, in this 21st century, where we do not want to be reasonable or wait for the law to takes its course. And we let our emotions to take over us.
Yes, it is wrong. Yes, we are hurt with what happened. Yes, we cared for the ideal/person/figure.
But, it doesn’t give us the right to pass the judgement assuming what someone said is wrong and start an war against them.
Let us wait for all the facts to be revealed. Anyhow, we cannot be out there giving out verdicts against others. And when a similar scenario happens when others are giving out verdicts on you, this would cause a different upheaval.
Always, resist passing judgement just because we are offended due to some one on the other side is not who we like.
But, will our dumbfounded rejection cause any concern if it is not correct. No, right? Let us keep our calm and understand the stand of both sides and then come to a conclusion.
Pill #5: Keep your Energy Level in Check
Every action has equal and opposite reaction.
Our negative thoughts getting offended of what others did will not bring any welcome change in our lives. Instead we can keep a check of what we consume.
For example consider yourself as a bicycle tube and its job when fully inflated is to take us to our destination. But if there are leaks in them in that case your journey would come to a standstill.
The same way, mind works. Negativity and worrying eventually causes us to lose our focus to be deflated.
Always, keep an eye on your energy where it is being consumed. Is it worth it? Will it do me any good in the long run, etc.
Find, your path and ensure you are not wandering towards the destination. This shall ensure you are always focused and full of energy marching towards your goal or destination.
Pill #6: Respond gracefully
Just as we learned from our person during commute – to respond gracefully. There will definitely be such times when you would need to show restraint.
It’s not something you should always follow, but you will learn it by trusting your gut.
Make it a habit – to show restraint in worse circumstances and to respond gracefully!
Pill #7: Consider the Results of the Offense taken
Before you even take a slight offense, think about the possible outcomes. Sometimes they come down like dominoes falling one after the other without any stop.
It would sometimes bring nothing good.
It’s like walking on eggshells. And doing so, we keep ourselves in increased chances of tension and anxiety with least to not benefits of being offended.
Pill #8: Give Others The Space To Be Themselves
This would be the biggest pill to swallow. People aren’t so consumed to be behind you and to make your day miserable. They are living their lives in their ways. And it might be possible that they are being inconsiderate, unconscious, annoying, and what not by not living up to our expectations.
But on the same lines, we are doing almost the same. By not being considerate, conscious of our efforts, nuisance to others. I am sure we must not be very much proud of ourselves, but I am sure that right now I have corrected and improved myself than I was yesterday.
The point is we all need our space to be ourselves – having good and bad days sometime. You and me would require space to change, grow, and evolve, and that too in our ways and time.
And more easily we do this and adopt this mindset, less we would expect thereby reducing the chances of offending someone.
Conclusion – To get or Not get Offended?
Most of us by now, are on a better understanding of what was going wrong and how we can get it corrected.
So let’s not sit idle and be move towards our goals with better understanding and clear mind.